Sick

So I have been sick for... maybe a week and a half. The kind of sick where you just stare into space and try not to move for fear your stomach will turn itself inside out. This is the kind of sick where you get so tired of feeling sick you start to punish your body for treating you this way.

The first stage is in denial, in which you get ready for the day, put on makeup, dress in cute clothes, go to a store and immediately want to vomit because you are surrounded by people and smells.

The second stage is acceptance, but with anger. I walked around in the sunlight and listened to The Black Keys really loud because I had a headache and ate solid food despite the protests of my stomach. Take that, body! For some reason I always lose these battles.

The third stage is apathy. You go and lie completely still in a dark room feeling like it would be a blessing to be hit by a train or hoping that cell phones really do cause brain tumors and yours has finally ripened to a good, grapefruit sized malignant tumor of death.

That is where I am right now, feeling horrible and a bit loopy. I have to go to work tomorrow, I have missed too many days without an identifiable illness to call in sick again. Damnation.

The one thing that has made me laugh are these blogs about sickness; they have made me feel a tiny bit better, although the stomach jostling laughter is uncomfortable, to say the least. Warning, there is some language for comedic effect. Please enjoy:

I'm Definitely Not Dead

The Party

Texas