Mixed News

This last week has been full of news, some good, but mostly bad.

My project has been "put on hold indefinitely." Which is television speak for canceled. My job is not in danger, but some others on my team will be leaving, which makes has been a struggle for me. I see really talented people being let go because decisions are not being made quickly enough or there are personality conflicts with upper management. Bureaucracy is incredibly difficult for me to manage emotionally. Seeing this organization limp around like a three-legged dog has garnered my sympathy but also caused me lots of frustration. On the up-side, I got to direct a piece the day before yesterday that has beautiful footage and an interesting story. I am thrilled to see the final product come together. We also got a new creative content director whose work I really respect, so I have hope.

In more news, yesterday evening, I got a diagnosis that I have suspected, but feared for some time. As my doctor described my symptoms, things that he could have hardly known about, I began to cry and laugh simultaneously. A strange sensation passed over me: relief and fear. To know what is happening is comforting but now I have some difficult decisions to make about my health (things that will effect my future spouse and children if I should have them) and that is a large burden to carry considering I can hardly make decisions for myself and my life. So I followed an unhelpful coping strategy and went to sleep for hours and I am now am wide awake. Thanks, Brain.

So, despite the fact that I have been bombarded with the kind of news I would like to avoid, there are at least a few shreds of good news, which is something of a consolation.