This Weekend/Today Warranted a Playlist

Someone I haven’t seen in a long time came into work today. I anticipated this meeting but I wasn’t really prepared. When I saw him he gave me this look, like it was the first time he had seen my face, my wrists, my jaw, my shoulders. As he was leaving I smiled and told him it was good to see him. “Yeah, it’s been years. You’ve grown up.” “I don’t know what that means, but thanks, I think.” “I don’t know what it means either.” He smiles. I walk upstairs. Confusion. I can’t stop thinking about it all day. What did he mean? By the time I clocked out I wanted to punch his perfect face. Speaking of dredging up ancient feelings, this weekend someone close to me was sorting out theirs and all of a sudden I was empathy crying and reliving six months ago. What a teenage-angsty thing to do... the playlist and the crying. Maybe I am not that grown up after all.

“Worn Me Down”(the EP version)–Rachael Yamagata
“Heartbeats” Jose Gonzalez
“One Red Thread” Blind Pilot
“Babylon” David Gray
“West Coast”- Coconut Records
“Best of my Love” Eagles
“Call and Answer” Barenaked Ladies
“Gamble Everything For Love” –Ben Lee
“Black Mirror” The Arcade Fire
“Dear Sarah Shu”- John Vanderslice
“High and Dry”- Radiohead
“I Like You Most” Slowreader
“Silver Lining”- Rilo Kiley
“Anywhere with You” Saves the Day
“Black Star” Radiohead

Bullet Proof Derby

It was 90 degrees and I was trying to run in a pencil skirt. Commenting on the stupidity of this act is unnecessary. I mention it only as an indication of how well I fit in with this crowd of tank-tops and t-shirts that boasted "SAUNTER" as their fastest gait.

The announcer's voice crackled over the loudspeaker. A round of smashing was about to begin and we were half a mile away. A quick word with the event staff for directions and we were off to the other side of the park, past the Ferris wheel, the camels, and cotton candy machines. Winded, we arrived and I practically shoved money in the hands of the gruff ticket-vendor. I practiced breathing as my friend produced her checkbook. It is no big deal, breathe. You can wait. Just out of sight I could hear the cars revving their engines the crowd barking like wild animals. The announcer screamed, "Three, two, one, GO!" Within a few seconds I heard the first crunch of metal. She was checking the date on her phone and filling in the lines. Breathe. Patience. She was working quickly but I felt like a kid waiting to peek around the corner on a December morning. We grabbed our purple wristbands and raced into the arena. A man with a shaved head, sunglasses said to Jennifer, "Want help with that wrist band?" "Uh, I think I am good." Friendly but weird.

We ran to the edge of the fence and started circling, looking for a seat or standing room where we didn't block anyone's view. Dirt was flying from under the wheels of the cars. Flames were coming from the exhaust pipes funneled directly from the engine. Cars were speeding across the field and narrowly missing their targets. Smashing, stalling, flag pulling and the round was over. Tow trucks and pit crews flooded the circle pulling the cars out into an adjacent parking lot.

We wait a half an hour and then next heat begins.

A neon green car with a double digit number spray-painted on the door came barreling through the arena, kicking up dirt as it went. A two seconds later it crashed into the side of a teal car with "I *heart* Autumn," scrawled on the hood and pushed it into the four-foot-tall, dirt barrier surrounding the driving area. A member of the pit crew jumped from the top of the barrier, barely escaping the crash. A station wagon from 1984 dressed up as an American flag rammed into the two cars struggling to get started after the impact. Number six, an orange hatch-back, another familiar car from my childhood, slammed into the sloppy stars and stripes. The collision made that stomach-turning crunch that no one wants to hear outside of this field. But somehow, despite that natural reaction to flinch,the crowd bellows for more. The man sitting a few benches down in the tier of metal bleachers is wearing a pair of Wranglers, a camouflage hunting hat, a t-shirt that features all capital letters and a crescent wrench. His wife, who outweighs him by two hundred pounds, hands him their baby. The ruddy-nosed man in front of me glugs down his his third Bud-Light and cheers for the car that is so beaten up that from the side it looks like a "U."

I am out of place but I am so happy. I scream like a white-trash soccer mom, cheering for random cars and bad mouthing the announcer/ref. Number six locks grills with another car. They turn sideways and rev the engine trying to unlock. A car comes and smashes into them. They are still stuck. A minute passes and they are both out. "BOOOOOOOOOO!" we scream as he says, "Number six, pull your flag." "BOOOOOOO!" A lady behind me yells,"Stupid ref! Number six is has the best engine in this whole derby!" We scream for justice, but the ref says, "He's out."

We are defeated. Tow trucks come. The grunge match starts. All of the cars that had their wheel-wells hammered out and their spark plugs changed are back, fighting to the death. One car turns off its engine while waiting for the last car to join the battle. His engine never turns over again and he sits while the other cars wallop each other and send bursts of engine-smoke fifteen feet in the air. Then it is over. I am hoarse.

As we leave the parking lot La Roux comes on the radio. "This time baby, I'll be bullet proof."

Two Words.

Demolition Derby.... More later.

The Eels Say I Need Some Sleep

It is time for a quick post instead of going to bed. I am exhausted but I am going to share my good news and gratitude from the last couple of weeks. The highlights are as follows:

Heather and Greg are finally married. The wedding came off beautifully. I wish I could take credit, but I got so much help from other people, I really think I should say it was a family and community effort. Thank you so much to all! I will have to do a blog entry dedicated solely to that event, but it requires more effort that I can muster at this moment. Here is something to pique your interest and prepare you for the excitement that will be that blog.

Lovely visits from friends and family punctuated the beginning of this month. It felt like home to have them all here. Now it seems that I have to get married to sucker them into coming back. It may be a while.

On Friday I got to hang out with about 20 llamas as we filmed teenagers feeding them, brushing their hair and walking up and down the steps of the Hare Krishna temple. They are normally very docile creatures, but two of them got in a fight and one spit hay on the other one. They had to be separated, like in elementary school. It was a delightful day. I missed India. I think I am going to go back soon.

“Inception” was the FHE activity on Monday; it was a beautifully crafted film. I find it creepy and cool that I had a dream within a dream about two weeks before it came out. The “Royal Wedding/ floating on the ceiling stuff was brilliant. The way they handled water in that film? Gorgeous. I have always wanted to do that in a motion picture… now I have to wait a few years. Bah.

I ate a deep dish margarita pizza from Nicoitalia’s with the house Italian dressing. Heaven in your mouth! I have been craving it all week. Maybe I will treat myself again this weekend. In other good food news, I had a Stone Bowl and beef bulgogi with a dear friend. I don’t think I have eaten Korean food in a year. YUM.

Jenn is coming to visit on Friday. I love that girl. Camping is possibly in the works. Woot!

I get to go to San Francisco and New York in a couple of weeks, compliments of BYU-B and some fancy budgeting on my part. I am such an adult right now, traveling for work. Take that, former juvenile lifestyle!

Bed awaits me. I need some sleep before another crazy long day.