"There There" or Snowfall and Shadow

Bundled up, I wandered down the streets in my neighborhood tonight/early this morning. Heavy snow fell in soft clusters all day, but the sky was clear when I stepped out onto my porch. Icicles hanging from the roofline formed an elegant row and the mountains glowed white against the dark blue sky. When you are out in freshly fallen snow the silence echoes. There are no identifiable sounds but my ears register that low nothingness that hums around my body.

Walking alone, at night, doesn’t seem to be a particularly good idea, but sometimes when your body and nature connect it feels like the two shouldn’t be separated. It is a force that wraps around you and pulls you with its gentle song into the night.

As I walked, I thought about how God and I have been having bad communication lately. Somehow I got the wrong impression about a few, critical plot points on the life chart and I have found myself back at the drafting table, with my compass and scale rule, trying to figure out how I managed to miscalculate. To return to the first square is daunting. It isn’t just one page, it is a whole portfolio of false starts and failed plans that lead to a life that isn’t mine. The drafting isn’t completely my own, others have contributed, but I can’t sort it all out. Hoping for divine intervention I shuffle forward; the sky is clear but markedly silent. So I watch my shadow in front of me to see where it will go next.