Living Just to Keep Going. Going Just to Stay Sane.

There are a lot of changes happening: some that gently tugged on my sleeve, some that popped up and surprised me like a room full of friends and some that spanked me on my blind-side.

When I was in Seattle, a couple of friends took me to a butterfly house. Inside we were exposed to their life cycle and habits. Three times I watched a creature break out of its tight chrysalis and open its iridescent wings. It was surprising to see butterflies eating bananas, oranges and drinking straight from flowers. Perhaps the most curious habit I observed was the insects lying very still on the ground with their wings spread open. Parents, children and other adults were asked to watch their step to keep the animals from harm. While I was there, someone had made a misstep and crushed the delicate body and wings of a Cethosia biblis, commonly known as a Lacewing. Orange and black wings were askew and its body mangled.

There was a Morpho peleides, a Mexican butterfly with ragged wings that landed on my friend. As she walked around, the butterfly stayed with her despite the evidence that it had been battered, likely by human contact. As I considered the appearance of the Common Blue Morpho, I couldn’t tell if I thought it was brave and hardy or stupid and stubborn.

What was it thinking? Why was it so careless to not protect itself from harm? When things started going badly, why did it not leave? What could have been its motivation? Is this adaptation in the works? All I could decide was perhaps there wasn’t much judgment involved and that instinct was its guide. Maybe it just did what most animals have to do: survive and not hold out for something more.